All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Can Purell be used as lube?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
