They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
