I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
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I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
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Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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