your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
