honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
oh yeah. preciate
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position