Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.