It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
