My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I woke up naked with my work shoes on