it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
People in love make me want to vomit
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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