take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
