1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
My first STD was from a foam party
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
