I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
