i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
