THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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