Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
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