screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
