you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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