just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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