God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
