Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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