Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
