I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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