i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
