WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
