ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I AM VODKA MAN
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
