As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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