Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
