she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
