I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Is this like a preordered booty call?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
