It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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