Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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