covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
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i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
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i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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