Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize