Got a toothbrush?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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