Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
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he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
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We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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