I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
