Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
