Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
