I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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