i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
