Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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