My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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