I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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