Wat do u mean how?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.