How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My pussy is not your playground.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
