Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
