Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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