Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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