Cold hands, warm shart.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My life is pants optional.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
