Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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