Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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