you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
