Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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