I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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