Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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