NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
