Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
