no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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