I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
